Chapter 1

In the seventh year of my secret love for Michael Carter, we crossed a line by mistake. Because of that, he never got back with his ex, and even his own marriage became collateral damage.

The night before our wedding, he sat on the balcony all night like a man who had lost everything.

The next day, he told me, "Once a couple of years pass and people stop talking, we'll get divorced."

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over my head. With trembling hands, I signed the divorce papers he had already prepared. His tone softened. "You're a good girl. You shouldn't waste your life on me."

So he'd known all along. Those seven years of turmoil hadn't been mine alone. Then why was it that when I really brought up divorce, he looked ready to cry?

*****

In the seventh year of my crush on Michael Carter, he came to my city to win back his ex. We drank a lot that night and talked a lot too, though mostly I just listened to him talk about how much he still loved Sophie Lane.

He said, "Do you get it, Emily? I've loved her for so many years. I never thought we'd break up. I wanted to be tied to her for life, and the next, and the one after that..."

I forced my bleary eyes open and chimed in now and then.

After all, I had witnessed their relationship from the start and even helped bring them together. No one saw it more clearly than I did. Michael had given that relationship his whole heart.

He slurred, "Emily... Do you think she'd take me back?"

"Probably." I said.

He staggered over and sat beside me, then pulled up their chat history and held it in front of my face.

I blinked and looked away, changing the subject. "You're drunk. I'll get you some coconut water. Drink it and sleep, or your head's going to kill you tomorrow."

The moment I stood up, he grabbed my wrist. The room spun, and then a kiss carrying a faint trace of alcohol fell on me, cool and soft, like fruit chilled in well water on a summer day.

That was all I could think, even as our breaths tangled and the light above us stabbed at my eyes.

"I'll take responsibility." Right in front of my parents, Michael admitted to the mistake he thought he'd made the night before. They took him outside to talk, then left looking satisfied.

When Michael came back in, we just stared at each other.

Weakly, I tried to explain. "I have no idea why my parents suddenly came over without warning. I'll explain it to them. We didn't actually sleep together last night. We were both fully dressed."

Michael grabbed me just as I was about to run after them. "I'll take responsibility."

"But what about Sophie? She's still waiting for you." I was so anxious I started crying. "You liked her for three years. You were finally this close to getting back together..."

"What else can I do? Maybe she and I were never meant to be. I was the one forcing it. Now that I can't have her, maybe that's how it's supposed to end." He sighed.

I couldn't say a word. Michael wiped my tears away little by little, as gentle as the day we first met. "Emily, this isn't your fault. I messed up after drinking. You don't need to make excuses for me."

Things moved fast after that. When my best friend heard that my long secret crush had finally come true, she was even more excited than I was. "I told you two had married-couple vibes. I knew you'd end up together."

I opened my mouth, wanting to say that wasn't it. The person he liked was Sophie, and the person he wanted to marry was Sophie too.

From start to finish, I had only ever been a despicable bystander, and now the one who tore them apart.