Chapter 1

While I was handling my mom's death certificate, Jayson Brooks was out with Fallon Little, celebrating Valentine's Day.

I called him, and my seven-year-old daughter, Malani Brooks, piped up next to me, "This is all your fault, Mom. I could've gone out and had fun with Fallon, too."

I looked at her and fell silent for a long moment.

Withdrawing my hand from the documents, I spoke softly into the phone, "You can have custody of Malani. Let's get a divorce."

*****

My heart sank at Malani's words. I stopped what I was doing, stood up, and took her home.

In the car, Malani pouted, arms crossed over her chest. "Mom, you always do this. First, you say you want me with you, and now we're just going home?"

I kept silent and sent a message to my lawyer.

After getting the reply, I put my phone away, leaned against the window, and felt the cool breeze on my face.

Back home, when Malani saw Jayson, she finally broke into a sweet smile.

I just watched, numb, not even a trace of sadness left in me.

I spoke quietly, "We'll sign the divorce papers in two hours."

Jayson fixed his gaze on me, his expression blank as he slowly lit a cigarette, completely unhurried. "And what about Malani?"

Looking at Malani, I couldn't help but remember what she had said.

While I was handling my mom's death certificate, the clerk said, "Please confirm the information."

My heart ached as I hugged Malani. "I don't have my mom anymore, but at least I have you with me, Malani."

Malani pushed me away and said, "But I don't want to be with you, Mom. Fallon and I already planned to go to the beach and light fireworks. Mom, don't you have anyone else to hang out with?"

Things got awkward for a second. I just froze with my hand in midair, and even the clerk stopped, looking a bit unsure. "Is this... your daughter?" the clerk asked.

After a long silence, I nodded. Everyone went quiet, their faces a mix of complicated emotions.

The moment my heart died, even the pain vanished, I just looked away, unable to face her anymore. "She's always been closer to you," I told Jayson.

Just then, the lawyer arrived.

He handed us two copies of the divorce agreement. Once I finished reading, I nodded and picked up the pen to sign.

"Are you for real?" Jayson finally broke his silence, sounding rough and serious.

We'd spent ten years tearing each other apart, fighting, screaming, saying the worst things, crying.

I never agreed to a divorce, and maybe he'd already resigned himself to us being stuck in this mess for the rest of our lives. But now, out of the blue, I was the one letting go.

I nodded.

Just then, Malani came over and asked what I was signing.

I paused, gently straightened her crooked collar, and explained in a calm voice, "Once this is signed, you'll be living with your dad. From now on, you won't have to stay with me anymore, Malani."

When she realized that she wouldn't have to stay with me anymore, Malani paused, looking a little surprised.

Suddenly remembering something, she turned to Jayson, her eyes sparkling. "So, does that mean I can go to the beach now? Yay. Now Fallon won't be upset with me anymore."

She was super attached to Fallon.

One time, I messed up one of her dolls in the laundry, and she gave me the silent treatment for a whole month. Then I found out Fallon had given it to her.

I lowered my head and let out a soft smile.

"Your birthday's coming up soon, and I know you always dread spending it alone. We'll talk about the divorce after your birthday." Jayson put out his cigarette and just stared at me in silence.

Behind me, Malani dashed off to the bedroom, her little feet pattering away.

A moment later, she burst out, looking all annoyed, grabbed my hand, and dragged me toward her bedroom. "I want to look pretty for Fallon. Mom, can you help me pick out a swimsuit?"

I softly pulled my hand away and shook my head. After all these years, it was the first time I ever turned her down.

Malani paused, a bit taken aback, surprise flickering across her face.

I glanced at Jayson and told Malani, "No." Then I signed the papers and got up to leave.

"Do you really have to go this far? You've known about Fallon and me forever. Why are you blowing this up now?" Jayson frowned, totally lost.

I stopped, wanting to say something, but what was the point? Years of swallowing my pride and pain had festered inside me like a pus-filled sore, rotting in my throat until the words just died there.