Chapter 1

In the year Nigel Moody and I were happiest together, the System tore me away from him.

I watched him point at a photo, teaching our child to say "Mom," stubbornly trapping himself in memories he couldn't let go of.

I saw him kneeling on the floor, his voice shaking as he called my name over and over, as if begging me to stay, or murmuring to himself.

I witnessed him check himself into a mental hospital. After the shock treatments, he'd sit there, staring into nothing, smiling to himself.

"Celia, I can see you again," he whispered.

All those years, I threw myself into every mission, desperate to rack up enough points to return to Nigel's side.

But when we finally reunited, another woman was holding onto his arm.

I smiled, my eyes reddened, keeping my tone polite and distant. "Long time no see."

*****

The day I saw Nigel again, the sun was shining bright.

I'd pictured our reunion so many times in my head.

I figured we'd stand there in silence, letting the tears fall, since Nigel was always so reserved.

Maybe we'd walk right past each other, not even recognizing one another, like something straight out of a soap opera.

Or maybe he'd be totally shocked, full of doubts, since resurrection was too unbelievable.

But honestly, that was not likely either. He knew I was a Player, so nothing would surprise him when it came to me.

But when I finally saw him, everything I'd pictured flew out the window.

I stood there, frozen, memorizing every detail of his face in my mind, over and over.

He looked thinner. His features were more angular.

He was even quieter than before. His eyes were hollow.

No matter how desperately I threw myself into missions, racking up points, it still took me six years.

The price of resurrection and returning to this world was so heavy that no one else would even try.

But in the end, I pulled it off.

I didn't say a word, but he seemed to sense me. His eyes locked onto mine.

Through layers of people, our gazes found each other once more.

Neither of us moved. We stood there, quietly facing each other.

I knew he wouldn't walk away, but he wouldn't come any closer either.

In the end, I walked over to him, tilting my head and smiling as bright as a flower.

He gave a small smile, turned his face away, and said, "Long time no see. It's really you."

My nose stung, and tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them.

Back then, after completing my mission, I lied to the System.

Behind the System's back, I stayed with Nigel. We lived like any other lovers. We fell in love, got married, and had a child.

However, we both knew that no one could tell how long I'd get to stay.

We loved fiercely, treating every day as if it might be our last.

But the day the System tore us apart, neither of us could accept it.

I drifted like a ghost, refusing to leave, while he clung to our child, stuck in the past and refusing to move on.

I saw him living like a zombie.

He was busy with work during the day. He spent his nights taking care of our kid.

The baby didn't remember my face, but never forgot my scent.

She wouldn't stop crying all night. She would only settle down when Nigel bundled her up in my clothes.

Nigel would hold our child, pressing his face into my clothes, his tears falling in big, heavy drops.

I always knew he was stubborn, but I never realized he could be so obsessed that it nearly drove him insane.

He checked himself into a mental hospital without telling a soul.

When the electroshock treatments pushed him to the edge, his mind would sink into a void.

He'd sit there, lost in a daze, staring at nothing, then out of nowhere, he'd smile. "This is great. I can see you again."

Later, he got impatient with how slow the electroshock treatments worked, so he started swallowing handfuls of atropine.

He took so much that he began to hallucinate.

During those late nights, he'd lean against his desk, his eyes gentle as he stared into the emptiness. Nigel would whisper, "Celia, you're even more beautiful now."

When the rain poured down, he'd stand lost in the crowd, his gaze vacant, lingering on an empty patch of ground. Nigel would murmur, "You came to see me."

On the busy city streets, Nigel would leap out of his car, chasing something with tears streaming down his face while crying out, "Celia, don't go. I'm begging you!"

Later, he got wiser. He'd stand there, watching in silence, not taking a single step.

He said that way, I wouldn't walk away.

Staring at the man who was my anchor for the past six years, I wiped my tears, smiled, and opened my arms wide to him.

I said, "Nigel, I'm back.

"This isn't a hallucination. It will never be a hallucination again."

Right as I was about to pull him into my arms, he instinctively pulled away.

Before I could react, another woman hooked her arm around his.

She froze when she saw me, then dropped his arm. "Are you Celia?"

It seemed that Nigel was only sure that I was real then. He stared at me, completely stunned.

His voice was rough as he finally managed, "Long time no see, Celia."

I stood there, my eyes quietly taking them in.