Chapter 1
It was Thanksgiving Day, the day Alex Carter was supposed to meet my parents with me. I stood waiting for him at the train station for a full three hours.
With my train's departure time fast approaching, I typed out a message to him: [Why haven't you shown up yet?]
The text went through, but only a single grey checkmark appeared. His profile picture vanished, replaced by a blank gray icon.
He'd blocked me. Again. I hadn't noticed until now.
Over the past two years, Alex had blocked my number 101 times. It was his go-to move whenever he needed to devote his undivided attention to comforting Julia Grant during her depressive episodes.
I was about to call him to ask him to unblock me when I saw Julia's Instagram: [Mentioned I wanted to see the tide, and my knight drove me 1025 miles to get here. Thank you for always being my savior.]
The attached photo showed Alex behind the wheel, wearing the exact shirt I'd ironed for him this morning.
My hometown was only 310 miles away, but Alex had complained that driving there was too exhausting, making me book train tickets instead.
Yet, simply because Julia had a whim, he gladly committed to a 2050-mile round trip.
I calmly canceled his ticket, walked through the gate, and boarded the train alone.
I was done chasing him. There would be no 101st plea to unblock me.
*****
Three hours went by without a single call or text from Alex.
Meanwhile, Julia's Instagram feed was practically bursting. She was posting every thirty minutes. [Craving street food, so someone practically bought out the entire market for me. You're trying to ruin my diet, you bad boy.]
The photo showed all kinds of delicious food.
My eyes suddenly stung with tears.
Alex was an absolute neat freak. He never allowed me to eat in his car.
I remembered working late one night, my stomach cramping from hunger. I'd grabbed a bread to eat on the ride home, but he glared at me.
"Lilianna, don't mess up my upholstery. If you have to eat, do it outside," he'd said.
He forced me out of the car, leaving me to stand in the freezing wind, swallowing the dry bread before he'd let me back in.
Now, when I looked at the snacks scattered all over his passenger seat, a laugh escaped me.
So Alex was fully capable of breaking his precious rules. He simply refused to do it for me.
I kept scrolling, torturing myself with Julia's feed. [This milkshake is way too big for me, so he's finishing the rest. Guess he doesn't care about my germs.]
[Passed out in the passenger seat, and his designer jacket became my cozy blanket.]
[Oops, got drool all over his limited-edition suit. Is he going to punish me for this?]
Scrolling further back, I saw a post from when I was waiting for the train: [To make me feel safe, he cleared all the other women off his contact list. I'm so touched.]
So that was when he blocked me.
This time, my existence was erased to make her feel safe.
My mind raced back through the endless times he'd shut me out.
The first time, Julia saw Alex and me texting too much, which reminded her of her late parents. To comfort her, Alex blocked me.
The second time, I called him while he was out there with her to cheer her up, so he blocked me.
The third time, she complained that my voice irritated her, so he blocked me.
The fourth time, her depression worsened, and she couldn't handle Alex being close to anyone else, so he blocked me.
Every single time, he'd unblock me and offer the same tired excuses. "Babe, don't be mad. Julia lost her parents and she's going through a dark time. Have some compassion.
"Her family paid for my college tuition. I can't turn my back on her. Taking care of her is the least I can do to pay them back."
Each time he locked me out, I'd beg him to add me back.
Eventually, he stopped bothering to explain after blocking me.
Usually, I would only realize I was blocked when my messages failed to deliver.
He had blocked my number 101 times. I had begged him100 times. But I wouldn't do it a 101st. This exhausting cycle was over.
*****
Three hours later, the train finally pulled into my hometown station. Through the window, I spotted my parents standing right at the front of the platform, waiting for me.
When they saw me walking alone, their eyes drifted behind me. "Where's Alex? You didn't wait for him? What if he got lost?"
They were still scanning, but I took their arms, guiding them away. "Mom, Dad, let's go home. Alex didn't make it."
"Didn't he promise he'd come this time? This is becoming a habit, isn't it?" Mom muttered.
Dad gave her a warning nudge, and she fell silent.
*****
Back home, the dinner table was packed with all of Alex's and my favorite dishes.
Mom looked worried. "Is Alex caught up at work?
"It's good for young people to focus on their careers. We aren't rushing him. He can visit whenever he has a break."
Dad stayed silent, keeping piling food onto my plate.
My nose tingled, and I felt tears threatening to spill.
My parents had opposed our relationship from the very start, terrified I'd end up miserable so far from home.
But I had ignored their warnings, chasing him blindly and spending five years helping him build his business.
To ensure I chose the right person, every year, my parents asked him to visit, wanting us to have a formal introduction.
Alex always had a reason to delay: he was too busy, his company was in a critical phase, or he wasn't successful enough yet.
Finally, once his startup took off and he became the golden boy of the industry, he agreed to come.
Yet, at the last second, he abandoned everything to go watch the tide with Julia.
"Mom, Dad, he's not coming. Not now, not ever. We're done. When I go back, I'm quitting my job," I said.