Chapter 1

It wasn't until I was on my deathbed that I found out James had gotten a vasectomy before we even got married.

He said apologetically, "I know you've always wanted a child of your own. But Claire gave birth to my son, and I promised her that no matter who I married, my inheritance would always go to her son.

"If I had another child, I'd be going back on my word.

"You know how much keeping my word means to me."

After half a century with him, I finally realized my whole life was nothing but a joke.

I was there for him, standing by his side as he clawed his way up from a down-and-out kid to the very top.

He once wrapped me in his arms and told me he wanted to grow old with me.

But everything we'd been through still couldn't compare to the promise he made to his first love.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back on our wedding night.

James leaned in close and whispered, "Quinn, have a baby with me. I'll treat you right for the rest of my life."

Feeling the heat of his body next to mine, I was confused.

These were the same words James had spoken to me in my previous life.

Back then, my face had burned with embarrassment as I shyly nodded in response.

My heart was filled with endless hope for the life we were about to share as husband and wife.

But those sweet days only lasted a few months before everything turned into nothing but a mess: petty arguments and daily drama everywhere.

The very next morning after our wedding, Anna, James's mom, started hinting that I should hurry up and give the family a son.

I knew James's dad had died years ago, and James was the only one left to carry on the Harrington name.

The Harringtons were pretty traditional, so it made perfect sense that they wanted a kid.

I liked kids, so I didn't mind.

I did everything I could: tracked my ovulation, tried every remedy Anna brought me, never hesitating.

But nothing happened.

As time went by, Anna barely bothered to hide her annoyance anymore.

She snapped, "A rock would get pregnant if you sat on it long enough. What's wrong with you? Why can't you give us one damn kid?"

Later, after James made it big in the business world, Anna started pressuring him to get a mistress and have a son with her.

Anna said, "If you can't have a baby, are you saying James can't even find another woman who can?"

I broke down in tears, venting to James about all the awful things Anna had said to me.

But he just sighed and shook his head. He said, "Quinn, she's still my mom.

"Try to cut her some slack, okay? At the end of the day, it's just you and me. You're the one who's going to be with me for the rest of my life.

"Didn't you have your eye on that new bag? I'll have someone pick it up for you tomorrow, okay?"

He was always like this. He'd tear me down one minute and sweet-talk me the next, leaving me no way to vent my frustration.

I wanted to blow up, just once, really let loose, but every time James gave me that look, all my anger just fizzled out.

Because I always thought it was my fault I couldn't get pregnant.

That left me too defeated to even argue with James.

As the years went by, Anna passed away.

Things between James and me started to get a little better.

But there was still no sign of a baby.

By the time I hit forty, no matter how much I wanted a baby, it just wasn't in the cards anymore.

And right around then, James's first love, Claire, came back home with her child, Lucas.

I knew Claire; we went to college together.

We were even roommates back then.

We weren't exactly best friends, but we were on good terms.

Claire's husband had passed away, leaving her alone with her son.

Seeing Lucas and Claire sitting there, tearful and worried, I couldn't help but feel for them, and before I knew it, I was looking out for them whenever I could.

Later on, Claire even asked me to be Lucas's godmother.

I poured all my motherly love and longing for a child into Lucas.

I did everything I could for him, treating him like my own son.

I watched him grow up, become someone I could truly be proud of.

But it wasn't until I was lying on my deathbed, old and frail, that I truly saw how wrong I'd been.

Claire entered, still elegant and poised, arm in arm with James, his hair now completely white, and Lucas, now a grown man with a family and career of his own.

That was when it hit me: my whole life had been a mistake, so wrong that it was almost unbelievable.

James's wrinkled face softened as his eyes filled with a gentle, doting look for Claire. But when he turned to me, all I saw was regret.

He said, "Quinn, I know you've always wanted a child of your own. But Claire gave me a son, and I promised her that no matter who I married, everything we had would go to her boy.

"If I had another child, I'd be going back on my word.

"You know how much keeping my word means to me."

Because of that one promise, my whole life ended up as a cruel joke.

All those snide remarks and nasty gossip... turns out it was all because James had secretly gotten snipped before we tied the knot.

I died humiliated and wronged, taking all that shame and injustice with me to the grave.

I hated myself for being so blind, for being so weak, for being so damn stupid.