Chapter 1
c/puck
Posted by u/slapshot_247 • 3h ago
Okay what the FUCK is going on with Ruslan Dragunov and Thorne Ashworth's mom?
So I was at this charity thing in Kestrel yesterday (my aunt volunteers) and I literally saw Ruslan Dragunov having brunch with Midori Ashworth.
Just the two of them.
At this cozy little place on Cardinal Street.
And like ... they seemed REALLY comfortable with each other?
She kept touching his arm and laughing and he was doing that thing where he leans in all close when he talks.
I took a pic but it's blurry as hell (sorry, was trying to be subtle).
Am I insane or is this weird?
Why would Dragunov be hanging out with his RIVAL'S MOM?
[Blurry photo of a curly-haired man in a leather jacket sitting across from an elegant woman with long black hair at a café table]
2.4k comments
u/puckfan_617 819 points • 3h ago
oh my fucking god
u/GrizzNation96 723 points • 3h ago
LMAOOOOO this is the most alpha shit I've ever seen.
Dragunov is literally fucking with Ashworth by dating his mom.
I'm fucking DECEASED
u/RenegadesForever 651 points • 2h ago
This cannot be real.
This CANNOT be real.
I refuse to believe this is happening.
u/CheckingForPuck 589 points • 2h ago
Guys, there's probably a totally innocent explanation for-
Actually no, I got nothing.
This is wild.
u/PuckFiend420 512 points • 2h ago
okay but can we acknowledge that Midori Ashworth is like 52 and looks like THAT?
I'd shoot my shot too tbh
u/GrizzNation96 301 points • 2h ago
Right?
Total rocket.
Dragunov's got taste.
u/WaverlyMadness 445 points • 2h ago
Thorne Ashworth is somewhere having a complete fucking meltdown right now and I wish I could see it
u/puckinsider99 398 points • 2h ago
This is the most elaborate mindfuck in PHL history.
Dragunov saw "fuck the Renegades" and said "okay, specifically the mother of their first line center"
ORION:
Someone on Chorus has picture of me and your mama at brunch
Is very blurry but still
People think I am fucking her
VEGA:
WHAT
WHAT THE FUCK
Is very funny!
They think I do this to mess with you
Like psychological warfare
This is NOT funny
People think you're SLEEPING WITH MY MOTHER
I know!
Is hilarious
RUSLAN.
Thorne, relax
Your mama thinks is funny too
She send me the Chorus link
VEGA: oh my god
VEGA: oh my GOD
I'm going to die
I'm literally going to die
You are so dramatic
Is good cover, no?
Nobody suspects real reason I spend time with your family
The real reason being that my mother has ADOPTED YOU IN HER HEART
Not that you're FUCKING HER
Yes but they don't know that part
So is perfect
I hate you so much right now
No you don't
You love me
Even when I am "fucking" your beautiful mama
I'M BLOCKING YOU
CSN Hockey @CSNHockey • 2h ago
Odd sighting:
#PHLGrizzlies center Ruslan Dragunov spotted having brunch with Midori Ashworth (mother of #GoRenegades star Thorne Ashworth) in Kestrel yesterday.
The two appeared friendly.
More to come.
21.9K ReWaves 87.3K Likes
Brent @BrentWallace_CSN • 2h ago
Replying to @CSNHockey
In my 20 years covering hockey, this might be the strangest development I've seen.
What possible reason would these two have to meet?
715 ReWaves 3.6K Likes
sara ✨ @wingstotheice • 2h ago
HE'S FUCKING HIS RIVAL'S MOM TO ASSERT DOMINANCE I'M SCREAMING
12.4K ReWaves 45.8K Likes
Northport Grizzlies Memes @GrizzliesMemes • 2h ago
Dragunov really said "I'm gonna fuck the Renegades" and meant it literally
[GIF of Ruslan Dragunov winking at camera]
18.2K ReWaves 67.9K Likes
Puck Wire Network @PWN_Breaking • 1h ago
BREAKING:
Sources close to the Ashworth family have no comment on Ruslan Dragunov's rumored relationship with Midori Ashworth.
Thorne Ashworth's agent declined to comment.
#PHLDrama
8.6K ReWaves 35.2K Likes
jess (Ren fan) @marina_cote • 1h ago
thorne ashworth is currently crying into his pillow somewhere in waverly and honestly?
I'd be too
4.5K ReWaves 16.8K Likes
@midori.ashworth • 1h ago
[Photo of a beautiful latte with intricate foam art, caption reads:
"Perfect morning ☕️✨"]
@ruslandragunovofficial • 45m ago
[Photo of same latte from different angle, clearly the same café, caption reads:
"Best coffee in Kestrel "]
Group Chat:
THE MOTHERFUCKING GRIZZLIES
Wes:
BRO
BROOOOO
Deck:
I just saw Chorus
Drag you absolute MADMAN
Sterl:
Please tell me this is real
Please tell me you're actually fucking Ashworth's mom
Lac:
This is the most legendary thing anyone on this team has ever done
Ruslan:
Is not like that
THEN WHAT IS IT LIKE
BECAUSE THE INTERNET THINKS YOU'RE BANGING A MILF
Cannot say
OH MY GOD IT IS TRUE
Is not true!
But is complicated
How is this complicated
Either you're sleeping with Thorne Ashworth's hot mom or you're not
I am NOT
But I cannot explain why we spend time together
This is suspicious as hell
But also respect
She's gorgeous
She is very nice lady!
"Nice lady" he says
Like he's not all over Chorus being accused of psychological warfare via cougar-fucking
I like that everyone thinks I am badass enough to do this
Are you saying you're NOT going to correct them?
Why would I do that?
OH SHIT
HE'S GONNA LET THEM THINK IT
RUSLAN DRAGUNOV YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD
Ashworth is going to MURDER you
Thorne will be fine
"Thorne"?
WHY DO YOU CALL HIM THORNE
We are friends sometimes
This gets weirder and weirder
You're friends with your rival whose mom you're maybe-fucking?
Is complicated hockey friendship!
Nothing about this is normal
I contain multitudes
Midori Ashworth updated her profile picture • 32m ago
[Photo of Midori in a elegant navy wrap dress, smiling warmly at the camera, clearly taken recently]
Kenji Ashworth, Thorne Ashworth, and 247 others liked this
Comments:
Kenji Ashworth Such a beautiful wife ❤️
Midori Ashworth Love you darling
Margaret Lowe Stunning as always, Midori!
Midori Ashworth Thank you, Maggie!
Emily Nguyen Girl you don't age!
What's your secret?
Midori Ashworth Good genes and lots of green tea!
Kyle Jonas Hey Midori, any comment on the rumors circulating about you and a certain Zakarian hockey player?
Kenji Ashworth LOL.
Trust me, it's not what people think.
Midori Ashworth Life is full of funny coincidences!
The Sideline
"The Most Bizarre PHL Rumor of 2017:
Investigating the Dragunov-Ashworth Connection"
By Natalie Frost
Published 3 hours ago