Chapter 3
"Don't worry, we'll all protect you," someone said.
I managed a weak smile.
With eyes brimming with tears, I nodded, glancing at everyone gratefully as tears kept falling from the corners of my eyes.
How wonderful.
So this was what it was like to be the one who needed protecting.
In my previous life, it wasn't me who jumped from the building. It was my mom.
Even the last words I said before jumping today were copied word for word from what my mom said back then.
Mom said,"Helena, I'm going to end it all! Your dad's gone, and you don't even want to talk to me. Both of you just despise me. Why should I even go on living?"
She pulled such a dramatic stunt just to hang onto my dad's house, forcing me to give in and help her.
I hadn't done anything wrong, but those few words chained me for life. Everyone acted like I owed her everything.
Even I bought into it.
People always side with the underdog. This time around, I wanted to be the one everyone felt sorry for.
As for the jump, I knew from the start I wouldn't die from the fall.
A while back, the lawn downstairs collapsed and left a huge hole. Since it was the holidays and all the workers were off, nobody came to fix it. The property management just temporarily covered the hole with discarded sponges and foam cushions.
There were barriers all around, so hardly anyone knew what was actually inside.
I only learned about this after my mom survived her own jump in my previous life.
I was so shaken, just thanking my lucky stars and feeling nothing but worry and guilt for Mom.
But now, it hit me that if my mother chose death so decisively in my past life, was it because she knew what was coming?
*****
Before I could dwell on it any longer, the test results came in.
The doctor showed up, along with the school leaders and my homeroom teacher.
"Helena, just focus on getting better. The school will do everything we can to help you," one of the administrators said.
"We've talked to the doctor. You've been through a lot emotionally, so it's best not to go home just yet. We don't want your condition to get worse. The school will arrange a place for you in the dorms."
With the doctor and school authorities both encouraging me, I gave a nod.
No one could tell just how thrilled I was inside, even my hands, tucked under the covers, were trembling and slick with sweat.
Now that I had got a second chance, I could finally fix the regret and shame of being forced to leave school last time.
But more importantly, with the school looking out for me, I could finally put some real distance between me and my mom, and focus on my studies in peace.
*****
A month later, I was discharged from the hospital.
I politely declined the teachers' and doctors' offer to come with me, and headed home alone.
Maybe my suicide attempt was just too dramatic.
While I was in the hospital, doctors, school staff, and even the police kept coming by over and over again, trying to talk me through it.
As for Mom, she was taken in by the police for questioning, but was released soon after.
After all, just a few things I said when I jumped only proved she'd put me under emotional pressure and forced me, but that wasn't enough for any real charges.
But for me, that was enough.
*****
When I got home, the moment I pushed the door open, I wasn't surprised to hear someone sobbing inside.
It was Mom.
As I walked closer, I saw her with red, swollen eyes, clutching our family photo and crying her heart out.
She wailed, "What did I do to deserve this?
"My husband ran off, and the daughter I gave everything to even went and jumped off a building. How am I supposed to survive all alone now. What did I do wrong?
"I just wanted to stay in our home and hold onto our memories, is that so bad? So what if she had to help her dad pay off a million dollars? It's not like I was asking her to die for it. Did she really have to go that far?"
I almost snorted in disbelief.
Seriously, a million dollars?
If it was really that easy, why didn't she pay it off herself? People never know how much it hurts until the knife's cutting into them...
If she actually wanted to keep this family together, she'd be out hustling for cash, working with the cops to track down my dad, and making him take responsibility for what he did.
Instead, she just sits here whining and guilt-tripping me all the time.
When I walked in, Mom finally stopped crying. She didn't say a word, just sat there, her red, swollen eyes staring me down.
I knew what this was about.
She was waiting for me to lower my head and say sorry, like she always did.
Every single time, it didn't matter who was actually at fault, just because I was her kid, I was supposed to suck it up and let her walk all over me.
Unfortunately, getting a second shot at life, if I could throw my life on the line, you could bet I was done caring about being the dutiful daughter.
"Mom," I said, "you make it sound so easy, just a million bucks, right? I'm sure you'll handle it just fine on your own."