Chapter 1

My husband, Prince Lionel, was the old emperor's youngest son, born a full twenty years after his brother, who became emperor.

Because of the age gap, the emperor basically raised him like a son, and when Lionel came of age, the emperor wanted to find him a wife from a good family with an excellent reputation.

That was how he picked me.

I figured marrying Lionel would set me up for life. He was the emperor's favorite, all that royal favor. I thought I'd have it easy.

It turned out Lionel wasn't built to last.

We'd barely been married three years when he died.

My father tried to talk me into coming home. "Maybe you should just come back. I'll ask the emperor to release you from your obligations."

I laughed it off. "A princess doesn't get to remarry. I might as well stay a widow."

At twenty years old, I became the youngest widow in the Imperial City.

*****

Being a widow wasn't so bad, really.

Lionel Lancaster had been King Alexander's favorite, and he'd died so young that the entire court pitied him. Because they'd loved him so much, they pitied me too.

I'd live out my days in wealth and comfort, and when I finally died of old age, they'd lay me to rest in the royal tomb. It didn't seem like such a bad deal.

But not everyone saw it that way.

My father, Nolan Wells, certainly disagreed. He kept pushing me to come home and hinting that he'd petition Alexander to release me from my vows.

"You're still young, darling," he said.

I smiled at him. "The kingdom allows widows to remarry, Father, but I'm a princess. Who exactly do you plan to marry me off to?"

I paused and let the question hang in the air. "And who would dare take me as their wife?"

Nolan stammered and struggled to find his words, and after a long moment, he finally muttered, "It's just so damned unlucky. Why did Prince Lionel have to die?"

Yes, why did he have to die?

He'd been perfectly healthy and in his prime. He'd only gone to the northwest border to visit the troops on Alexander's behalf. How could a simple diplomatic trip end with him never coming home?

When the news first reached the capital, I thought someone was playing a cruel joke.

Lionel was Alexander's youngest brother and more beloved than even the Crown Prince. Who would dare spread such a vicious lie? They'd be begging for death.

"His Highness has always been good to you, and now you think you can make jokes like this?" I set down the pen and stood up, my voice sharp. "I'm going to the palace right now to tell Queen Elizabeth. She'll have every last one of you whipped."

My handmaid Iris grabbed my arm so tightly it hurt.

"Your Highness, please," she said, and her voice broke. "The Prince is really gone. Word just came from Valois. The Lantesher army attacked the city and the Prince was struck by an arrow. They couldn't save him."

Her words sounded convincing enough, but I still laughed and said, "That's nonsense. Prince Adrian is stationed at Lantesher, and he's Lionel's older brother. Of course he'll protect Lionel, so there's no way Lionel would get hit by an arrow."

I continued, trying to keep my voice steady, "You're talking more and more ridiculous by the minute. I must have spoiled you all too much. When Lionel comes back, I'll make sure he punishes you for this."

But as I spoke, my vision started to blur, and when I reached up to touch my face, my hand came away wet with tears.

It was weird. Why was I crying?

Iris was already sobbing uncontrollably and kept telling me to accept my grief, but my ears were ringing, and I stared up at the sky outside, wanting to ask her what grief she was talking about.

Lionel had promised me he'd be back soon, and he always kept his word. He never lied to me.

Never.

*****

But even honorable men break their promises sometimes.

Lionel didn't come back, and there wasn't even a body to bury.

Lantesher threatened war, and Adrian was too busy defending the borders to spare anyone to escort Lionel's remains back to the capital. With the brutal summer heat, they couldn't preserve the body properly, so they'd already buried him where he fell.

I never got to see him one last time.

If I didn't see it, then it wasn't real.

But life went on anyway.

Lionel had no children, and Alexander was worried about his bloodline ending, so he wanted me to adopt a child.

Elizabeth told me gently, "It's also so you'll have someone to rely on in the future."

She had a point. I couldn't very well spend eternity as a lonely ghost with him in the afterlife.

I nodded and said, "I just don't know who I should choose."

Lionel was the late emperor's legitimate bloodline, and Alexander valued him greatly, so choosing an heir wasn't a simple matter. Every choice carried weight.

Elizabeth looked at me and said, "Duke Rupert has a grandson who's being raised in the royal household. He's only two years old right now, but if you're willing, Lila, you could meet him."

Rupert had been Alexander's half-brother, and the late emperor had him executed for treason, but when Alexander took the throne, he pardoned the family.

Still, the entire household had fallen into ruin, and now only this one child remained.

The boy was actually a good choice, but I wasn't sure if Lionel would have approved.

When we first got married, Lionel told me he wanted four or five children with me so we could fill the entire manor.

I'd teased him back then and said, "Well, you'd better be careful. Everyone in my family is headstrong, so I might give you a whole brood of little tyrants."

Lionel had just laughed and said, "I wouldn't mind at all. As long as they're yours, I'll love them."

Those words had been so sweet they felt like honey on my tongue.

Even now, remembering them made my chest warm.

But when honey gets too sweet, it turns bitter.

Thinking about the past made my smile fade, and I said, "Whatever Your Majesty decides is fine. I don't have a preference."

Elizabeth heard the flatness in my voice and took my hand, and her eyes filled with concern as she said softly, "Lila."

I gave her a reassuring smile because I knew what she was worried about. She was afraid I couldn't handle this, and she was afraid I'd drown in grief.

But honestly, I didn't feel that sad.

Lionel had been my husband, sure, but I hadn't married him for love in the first place.

When I was still unmarried, I just wanted to find a suitable match, and it could have been anyone, really.

I hadn't even hoped for someone exceptional. I just wanted an ordinary marriage where we could respect each other and live peacefully.

So when Lionel died, I mostly just felt it was a waste.