Chapter 1

When I was seven, an earthquake hit while my sister Edith and I were playing hide-and-seek.

My parents rescued me first, but the rescue team searched day and night for three days and still couldn't find Edith anywhere.

With red, teary eyes, my parents pressed me for answers, but I just stood there, frozen and lost, whispering, "I don't know... I don't know where Edith is hiding..."

After that day, my parents, who had always spoiled me like their little princess, never smiled at me again.

This time, my parents were going to visit Edith's grave. When I said I wanted to go as well, my mom completely lost it.

She screamed at me, "Get lost! If you hadn't wanted to play hide-and-seek, Edith would've still been alive. It's your fault she's dead!

"If you love hiding so much, then get in there!"

She was screaming at the top of her lungs as she forcefully shoved me into the suitcase.

But she forgot that it was a password-locked suitcase. Once it locked automatically, I couldn't open it no matter what I did.

*****

I curled up obediently, making myself as small as possible, and squeezed into the cramped suitcase.

Over the years, I'd gotten used to treating the suitcase as my secret base, my own little safe place.

Whenever Mom lost control and started smashing things, Dad would shoot me a look, and I'd slip inside, almost on autopilot.

I'd zip it up and pretend I couldn't hear any of the chaos outside.

Like playing hide-and-seek, I started counting, quietly planning to reach ten thousand, like always.

But this time, I didn't finish counting like I usually did.

Staying twisted up for so long left my arms and legs numb and stiff.

My knees were pressed tightly against my chest, making it hard to breathe.

I clawed at the small gap by the zipper with my hands, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't budge.

"Is everything of Edith's in the suitcase? I'm putting it in the car," Dad called out.

Hope sparked inside me. I needed to apologize right now and beg Dad to let me out.

The world spun as I felt someone pick up the suitcase and flip it over, leaving me dangling upside down inside.

A suffocating feeling rushed over me, making it hard to breathe.

Panic took over, and I started frantically pounding on the inside of the suitcase.

But the walls were way too thick, and I barely had any strength left. Even my muffled screams were drowned out by my parents' voices.

Dad said, "The psychic said we should burn everything.

"Edith's spirit is trapped. If you don't help her pass on, she'll never be able to leave."

"Shut up! Isn't it all because of Elaine? She's the one who caused Edith's death!" Mom snapped, her voice sharp and full of rage.

She went on, "If she hadn't dragged Edith into playing hide-and-seek, would we still be left with nothing to bury? My poor Edith... Not even her remains are left..."

Her voice broke and faded into a hoarse whisper.

Every syllable was weighed down with grief.

Suddenly, it was like an invisible hand was choking me, and I couldn't utter a single word.

Edith's death was like an arrowhead, broken and jagged, lodged deep in my heart. It had already fused with my flesh and become a part of me that would never heal.

Inside that cramped suitcase, the air grew murky and thin, making every breath a struggle.

My head felt heavy, my thoughts slowing to a crawl, and I could feel my consciousness starting to fade.

In a haze, I thought I saw a little girl standing far off in the distance, her voice crisp and clear as she called out to me. "Elaine, let's play hide-and-seek! I'm going to hide now."

I stood there, stunned for a moment, and then, as if my body moved on instinct, I collapsed to the floor.

"No, please, not hide-and-seek... I'm sorry, Edith. It's all my fault. I ruined everything for you..." I choked out, my voice shaking.

I'd practiced this apology in my head while locked in the suitcase, but when I finally tried to say it, the words just spilled out, tangled and incoherent.

What I really wanted to say was that if only I could, I'd trade my life for Edith's.

Just like what Mom had been praying over and over.

When I looked up again, I saw my soul slowly drifting out of the suitcase.

Instead of Edith, I saw Mom, frozen and lost in her own world.

She started mumbling to herself, her voice distant and hollow. "Do we really have to burn it all? Edith's things, her clothes, the dolls I made for her... I scraped them out of the rubble, one by one.

"It's all because of Elaine. Edith can't rest, even after she's gone. Do you think Elaine was sent by the universe to punish me?"

Mom's emotions flared up again, the sorrow in her eyes darkening into a deep, burning hatred.

She took the psychic's words to heart and was convinced that only a whole body could be properly buried, and she blamed me for making it impossible for Edith to rest in peace.

Dad's knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel.

He turned, his face tired and wrinkled, eyes deep-set and hollow.

Even his voice sounded drained.

"It's been so long. Like the psychic said, Edith needs to go where she's meant to go, and those of us still here have to move forward," he said.

He managed a bitter smile. "We can have another child. The three of us, maybe we'll be okay."

Dad's voice was flat, almost emotionless.

His words hit me like a cold wind, making my soul waver for a second.

A family of three. I was not involved.

I was the thorn in their hearts, the one they wished they could just erase from their lives.

Deep down, I always knew that they didn't wanna see me around because of my face that looked so much like Edith's and Edith's death that was caused by me.

A few days ago, I quietly slipped away and checked out a bunch of orphanages, working up the nerve to ask the person in charge if they kept kids.

But now, looking at my ghostly form, I suddenly felt like maybe this was actually better.

Now that I was gone, Mom and Dad wouldn't have to watch me and hurt anymore.

Maybe, just maybe, the blame they held against me would finally start to fade away.