Chapter 3
Gabriel did not take me to his house.
He drove me to a hotel overlooking the river and waited while I booked the room with my own card.
"One guest," I told the receptionist.
The words sounded lonely. They also sounded like mine.
At the elevator, Gabriel handed me the key envelope.
"Call me if you need anything."
"You're leaving?"
His eyes held mine. "You just learned your husband is having a baby with someone else. I'm not turning tonight into something you have to understand tomorrow."
I wanted to be angry at his restraint. Instead, I watched him walk away.
Inside the room, I stood beneath a shower hot enough to redden my skin. I kept expecting the door to open and Owen to arrive with an explanation shaped like an order. When no one came, the silence frightened me. It also gave me the first uninterrupted hour I had owned in years.
Owen sent fourteen messages before midnight. None asked whether I was safe.
Come home.
You're embarrassing yourself.
Gabriel is using this.
We still have guests here.
The next morning, I met a divorce attorney in her Loop office. She read the agreement twice.
"This does not control a divorce judgment," she said. "But the signatures and date may matter if your husband rewrites the story later."
"He will."
She turned the petition toward me.
My hand did not shake when I signed.
At 9:18 a.m., the electronic filing confirmation appeared on her screen. I photographed it before I could lose my nerve.
Outside, the city kept moving as if my marriage had not ended between breakfast and lunch.
I texted Gabriel.
Dinner tonight?
His reply came a minute later.
Are you sure?
No. Seven?
He chose a small jazz bar in River North. No family. No clients. No one who knew which one of us was supposed to feel ashamed.
For an hour, he asked about my work and listened to the answers. He did not mention Owen until I did.
"Was last night true?" I asked.
His glass stopped halfway to his mouth. "Which part?"
"When you said you wanted me."
"Yes."
"Since when?"
"Long enough that I won't answer while you're still deciding whether to hurt him."
I should have appreciated the honesty.
Instead, I leaned across the table and kissed him.
He froze for one breath. Then his hand came to my cheek, warm and careful, and the kiss deepened until the room disappeared.
My phone vibrated against the table.
Owen's name filled the screen.
You deleted our family because of him.
I turned the phone facedown.
Then I kissed Gabriel again.