Chapter 2
"Alright then," I told myself. "If that's how it is, so be it."
I put my phone away and set six alarms.
5:30 AM: get up and make breakfast.
6:30 AM: drop Lily off at preschool.
7:30 AM: clock in at work.
12:00 PM: film a quick video during lunch break.
5:30 PM: pick Lily up.
10:00 PM: handle Epicurean Studio business.
Back then, I was scared of gaining weight and being criticized by him. Now, I just worried that if my health failed, there'd be no one left to look after Lily.
That's it. Nothing more.
It was the eleventh day after the divorce.
The company was having a team-building event at a countryside resort.
I really didn't want to go, but Sophie said if I didn't show up, people would start talking.
Sophie said, "If you hide away and don't show your face, Monica will just get even cockier."
So I went.
Lily was still too young to be left with anyone else, so I had to bring her with me.
When we got to the resort, everyone was out on the lawn, tossing frisbees and grilling.
Eric was holding Monica close. She was rocking a white dress and was all smiles.
I sat with Lily on a bench tucked away in the corner, peeling an orange for her.
"Claire!" Monica called out.
Monica sauntered over, swirling a glass of red wine in her hand.
"Why are you hiding out over here by yourself? Come hang out with us," she said.
Her eyes lingered on the medical tape on my hand.
"What happened to your hand?" Monica asked.
"Just cut myself while chopping veggies," I replied.
Truth was, I actually sliced it last night while rushing to carve the model for a collaborative packaging project.
"Oh, I bet it's tough raising a kid all by yourself," Monica sighed, her voice dripping with fake sympathy. "If you ever need money, just ask Eric. We won't just leave Lily hanging."
We, huh...
She was already saying "we", acting like they were a team now.
"I'm fine. I don't need your help," Claire said, keeping her tone cool.
"Don't be so stubborn," Monica said, crouching down and gently pinching Lily's cheek. "Lily, do you want some strawberry cake? How about I take you to get some?"
Lily hid behind me, shrinking away from Monica.
"No," Lily said.
Monica's smile froze for a moment.
"She's stubborn, just like her mom," Monica said with a smirk.
She got up and walked off, wine glass in hand.
Behind me, I could hear her gossiping with some coworkers.
"She must've packed on thirty or forty pounds, right? I saw her pics before the baby. She used to have a decent figure, but now she's totally let herself go."
"Man, Eric put up with her for four years? That's some real patience."
"If I were a guy, I couldn't handle that either."
Sophie came over with a plate and handed Lily a grilled sausage.
"Don't listen to those idiots," Sophie said.
I finished peeling the last orange slice and popped it into my mouth.
"I wasn't listening," I said.
Sophie looked at me. "You've lost weight."
"Yeah, forty pounds," I said.
"Did you lose it after the divorce?"
"Yeah."
"Was it worth it?"
I didn't answer.
Back then, I gained weight because of pregnancy swelling and post-baby hypothyroidism, but Eric just brushed it off with a cold "You should take better care of yourself," like all those medical reasons didn't even matter.
I'm not losing weight to make anyone feel guilty or wish they'd treated me better.
It's because I'm all I've got now.
Lily's got no one but me.
I can't afford to fall apart.
Sophie slid onto the bench beside me, lowering her voice. "Let me tell you something."
"Yeah?" I murmured.
"Monica went to HR. She wants you shipped off to the branch. Says it's 'awkward having you and Eric in the same department, bad for the team atmosphere.'"
The branch office was way out in the suburbs, an hour and a half each way.
Lily's preschool was right by the main office.
If I got sent to the branch, there was no way I could drop her off and pick her up on time.
"Who approved it?" I asked.
"It hasn't been approved yet, but Eric didn't object," Sophie replied.
I nodded.
"Got it."
"What are you gonna do?"
I glanced over at Eric and Monica, laughing and chatting together in the distance.
"She can transfer me if she wants, whatever," I said, shrugging it off.
Sophie's eyes went wide. "Are you nuts? What about Lily?"
"I never said I was going."
"Then what are you gonna do?"
"I'm quitting."
Sophie's eyes went wide.
"You're quitting? Just like that? You're letting them off easy? You only make 1,500 dollars a month. How are you supposed to take care of Lily if you quit?"
I just smiled.
"I've got enough," I said.
"Enough? Are you kidding me? Rent's 1,200 dollars, preschool's 900 dollars, plus food and clothes. Have you even done the math?"
"I've already done the math."
Sophie was about to say something else when my phone buzzed.