Chapter 3

It was obvious he didn't want a real marriage with me. But to save face for both our families, we had no choice but to go through with a simple wedding that was just for appearances.

He didn't want the Emperor blaming him for neglecting the daughter of a meritorious official. Honestly, I didn't even know what story he was telling people about us.

But I loved him so much that I shamelessly went along with this absurd wedding.

Caine stood beneath the crabapple tree in the courtyard, his black robe making his already cold features seem even more severe.

"Miss Verne, about that day... I will take responsibility for it," Caine said.

His grip on the emerald circlet was so tight that his veins bulged, and there were faint traces of blood on his knuckles. "But Loretta..."

"There's no need to explain yourself, Your Grace," I replied, taking the circlet and slipping it into my hair as crabapple blossoms fluttered down onto my shoulders.

"I'm just the orphan of a deputy general; I would never dare to dream of the High Consort."

His eyes widened and his Adam's apple bobbed twice, but he didn't utter a single word.

When the ceremony ended, the only witnesses were the butler and two maidservants. Even the wine we shared was barely cheap, making the whole thing feel even more hollow.

On our wedding night, he kept whispering Lorrie's name, but he still wanted me—again and again, seven times before dawn.

His gentleness and those passionate kisses made me believe, if only for a moment, that maybe he did love me after all.

Later, I learned from the butler that when I first entered the estate, the Emperor had actually asked Caine if he wanted me as his bride.

He turned the offer down, insisting to the Emperor that I only wished to be like a sister to him, and he'd look after me as family.

But that was just an excuse. The real reason was, he didn't want me claiming the title of High Consort—it would break Loretta's heart.

Afterwards, one night when he was drunk, he lost control and forced himself on me. He felt consumed with guilt toward Loretta, but his desire for me was something he couldn't fight.

This tangled mess between us left him unable to really face me—the daughter of his greatest benefactor—or Loretta, the woman he truly loved.

And yet, I knew he saw me as nothing.

Still, I kept humiliating myself, begging for any little bit of love he'd give, foolishly hoping he might one day truly care for me. I never realized—that was where my misery began.

A month later, I lay upon the silken sheets, waiting as the court physician came to conduct his customary examination.

"My lady, you are pregnant," the old physician announced.

He hadn't even finished speaking when a crash of broken porcelain rang out from outside the window.

Caine strode in, stepping over the shards of porcelain, his armor still clinging to him. The crimson mark between his brows seemed almost otherworldly in the flickering light.

"You mean?" he stammered, reaching out toward my belly but stopping himself just short, shock written all over his face. "How could this happen..."

I lowered my head, stroking my barely rounded belly—the place where new life was quietly forming.

I whispered, "The contraceptive you gave me that day, Your Grace... I didn't drink it."

He jerked back, his sword clattering against the table.

He spun around, his black cloak sending a flurry of fallen crabapple petals into the air.

"Gavin, bring her that precious herbal medicine from the storeroom," he ordered.

Seven months later, urgent news came rushing in from Northmark. The day Caine rode out to battle, I leaned against the city battlements, clutching my aching back.

I watched his blood-red cloak vanish into the swirling yellow sand. That same night, out of nowhere, my water broke.

I almost didn't make it—the baby was breech.

"It's a girl," she said simply.

The midwife placed my newborn daughter, swaddled in soft cloth, beside my pillow. She was so tiny, she could fit right in my hand.

"She was born frail," the midwife said. "You'll need rare and precious herbs to keep her alive."

After the imperial physician and the estate doctor finished checking her body, they spoke in solemn voices. "The little one needs Celestine Lotus to save her life. Otherwise, I'm afraid..."

I lay there numbly, counting the tassels draped above me, while my daughter's tiny, pitiful cries echoed through the silence.

The day Caine came home victorious, I was kneeling in the hall, playing with Nina in my arms, when he burst in, still in full armor. The gust of wind he brought with him snuffed out the candles.

"Are you done just watching, Your Grace? Give us the Celestine Lotus already," I said, unable to hide the desperation in my voice.

I clutched Nina's swaddle tighter, her tiny face bruised and purple, like a storm-tossed eggplant.

He stopped in his tracks, his shadow held fast on the wall. After a long moment, I finally heard the faint rasp of golden armor as he moved.

"Gavin, bring over all the Celestine Lotus Westria sent as tribute," he commanded.

"From now on, there will be three every year. You don't need to worry about it," he said to me.