Chapter 1
The doctor said I had late-stage stomach cancer and only three months left.
I decided to end it all, but before that, I tied Lucas Bennett's tie for him, just like I always did.
Lucas leaned against the doorframe, that face adored by fans looking nothing but lazy and impatient.
"Emily, I'm not coming home tonight. Don't call me," he said.
"Okay," I replied with a smile. "Goodbye, Lucas."
He raised an eyebrow, probably thinking I was acting weirdly obedient today. He just let out a scoff and slammed the door behind him.
He had no idea that this goodbye meant we'd never see each other again.
Three hours later, I parked my car on the Riverdale Bridge and leapt off.
Lucas, I set you free then.
*****
The day I decided to jump into the river was a rare, beautiful day.
The sunlight was so bright it hurt my eyes.
I clutched the crumpled diagnosis in my hand, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
My face was ghostly pale, like a spirit straight out of a horror movie.
Lucas was always in a foul mood when he first woke up. He called my name from the bedroom, his voice rough and irritable.
"Emily, where's my gray tie?" he snapped.
I shoved the diagnosis to the very bottom of the trash can, took a deep breath, forced a smile, and pushed the door open.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless, his muscles defined and smooth, his hair all tousled.
Even after ten years, just looking at him still made my heart skip a beat.
I grabbed the tie from the closet, walked over, and half-knelt by his legs to help him put it on.
"Here it is," I said.
Lucas looked down at me, absentmindedly playing with my hair.
Out of nowhere, he yanked it hard.
The sting made me look up at him, right into those half-smiling eyes of his.
"Emily, what perfume are you wearing today?" he asked.
"Seriously, it stinks," he added.
He let go of my hair and wiped his fingers on the sheets, as if the scent disgusted him.
I froze, my throat tight, unable to say a word.
This was my favorite perfume. He used to call it "the scent of his wife."
Now, he just said it reeked.
"Sorry, I won't wear it again," I whispered.
I obediently lowered my head and fixed his collar for him.
Lucas stood up, towering over me, pulled a card from his wallet, and flung it at me.
The card skimmed my cheek, leaving a slight sting, before falling to the floor.
"Take it. Go buy yourself something nice," he said.
"Stop dressing like a housekeeper all the time. You're embarrassing me," he added.
The sweater I was wearing was a birthday gift from him, back when he was just starting his career.
It was already worn and fuzzy, but I still couldn't let it go.
I bent down to pick up the card, my fingers shook, but I tried to sound calm.
"Okay, thanks, honey," I said.
He snorted and turned to leave.
When he reached the entryway, he stopped, but didn't look back.
"Chloe's going to the celebration dinner tonight," he said.
"I'm not coming home to sleep, so don't blow up my phone acting like some jealous psycho," he added.
Chloe White.
That new actress everyone was gossiping about with Lucas.
Word was, she looked just like I had in my early days.
"Okay," I said.
I watched his back, the light and shadow outlining him, handsome, but so distant.
"Lucas," I called after him, stopping him in his tracks.
He still didn't turn around, impatience practically oozing from his posture.
"Spit it out," he snapped.
"Goodbye," I said.
It was so soft, it felt like I was just talking to myself.
Lucas glanced back at me.
He raised an eyebrow, a mocking smirk on his lips.
"Emily, don't act like this is some dramatic farewell," he scoffed.
"As long as you're still getting money from me, you wouldn't walk away, right?"
With a loud bang, the door slammed shut.
The world went quiet.
I slowly crouched down, hugging myself.
Lucas, you were right.
I just couldn't let go.
But I had to leave.
I didn't want you to see me losing all my hair from chemo, turning into a walking skeleton.
Even worse, I couldn't stand the thought of dying while you were smiling at another woman.
I drove to the Riverdale Bridge.
The wind coming off the river was so strong, it made my face ache.
I climbed over the railing, taking one last look at the world.
My phone buzzed.
It was a bank notification. There was three hundred thousand dollars in that account.
See? He always thought money could fix everything.
But it couldn't buy me more time, and it sure couldn't buy his love.
I closed my eyes and took a step forward.
The next second, that dizzy feeling of falling hit me.
The river water was freezing cold, and before I knew it, I was completely underwater.
Lucas.
Hope we would never meet again in the next life.