After Getting Married, We Both Dropped Our Masks

Synopsis

My husband, Edward Young, posted something online that chilled me to the bone. He said a marriage certificate was a free gym membership, and his wife was his personal punching bag. He could take out his frustrations on her, and the more he worked out on her, the more she'd stick to him. I stared at the computer screen, my hand unconsciously crushing the thermos in my grip until it was warped out of shape. I set the thermos down gently. When I got home tonight, I'd do some workout on him. The day after our wedding, I was scrolling through the trending posts in my city when I saw something. The poster had shared a photo of his marriage certificate with the caption: [Free gym pass, successfully claimed.] Some people in the comments were confused, but the poster gloated: [A marriage certificate is a free gym pass. [My wife is my punching bag. Working out on her keeps me fit, and the more I do it, the more she clings to me. [If you hit her, all she'll do is beg you to stop. [If you don't hit her, she'll start making all kinds of crazy demands. [My biggest dream is to have a wife who's indestructible, and whose cries are music to my ears.] As I read the post, I couldn't help but get curious about how much of a fighter this guy really was. Honestly, he seemed like the type who could take a hit and keep going. So, I made an alt account and DM'd him: [Hey, bro, what kind of cries do you think sound nice? Can you give me an example?]