Chapter 3

After that, all I could think about was whether Mom would catch on.

Every day felt like walking on eggshells, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Maybe I was just naturally prone to gaining weight, because even when I cut back on food, I barely slimmed down at all.

My body got a little thinner, but my face stayed round and chubby. Michael just couldn't resist pinching and squishing my cheeks every time.

Whenever he did that, a chill would run down my spine. I wondered if he was secretly warning me not to secretly eat cookies.

And so, when he pinched my cheeks, my whole body would tense up.

Mom looked at me, her brows knitting together as she took in my still-plump figure.

"Addie, why are you still chubby? If you don't slim down, you'll end up with high blood pressure or diabetes," she warned.

She looked so troubled, like I was about to keel over from some terrible disease at any moment.

"Starting tomorrow, you're signing up for ballet classes," she said firmly. "Maddie loved ballet when she was little. She even said she wanted to be a ballerina someday."

*****

The next day, I showed up at the dance studio, ready to start what felt like my own personal hell of learning ballet.

My body was stiff as a board, and the basic moves like pointing my feet, stretching my hips, and lifting my legs had me sweating buckets.

Ballet practice was pure torture every single day, but what really crushed me was how strict they got with my diet.

Each meal was just half a slice of bread, some veggies, a bit of chicken, and an egg.

I was still growing, and all that training was burning up so much energy.

I was starving every minute of the day.

At school, when I saw my classmates munching on cookies or ice cream, my mouth would water like crazy. But I didn't dare touch any of it, so I just kept chugging water to fill my empty stomach.

I was never the smartest kid, and school was already tough for me. Now with all the ballet practice piled on, my grades went downhill fast.

Mom was really upset, and Dad's face turned stormy when he saw my report card.

My whole summer break was packed with tutoring sessions.

Meanwhile, Mom, Dad, and Michael took off for a vacation overseas.

Even though it was just summer tutoring, the workload was brutal every day.

When they finally got back from their trip, Mom gave me a knowing, satisfied smile as soon as she saw my skinny arms, legs, and that sharp chin.

I hadn't seen her smile like that in ages.

Her voice was still as gentle as ever. "Addie, you've gotten so slim. You've worked so hard."

Mom said softly to Dad, "Honey, look at her. She's so beautiful. She's truly our girl."

"Addie, look what I got you. It's a new ballet outfit," Mom said, holding it out for me.

Seeing the satisfied smile on her face, I rushed over, took the outfit, and put on my brightest smile.

"Thanks, Mom. It's so pretty. I really like it," I said. "I'll study even harder and give it my all in ballet."

At that moment, it felt like my soul and body were split in two, each pulling in opposite directions.

Even though my days were packed with all sorts of activities, for the first time ever, I found myself thinking about running away.

When I was in fifth grade, our class trip was the first time I'd ever been away from Mom and Dad, away from home.

Our teacher took us to a museum to learn about traditional crafts and cultural heritage.

But the whole time, I felt like a soulless shell, just going through the motions as I followed the group.

The old town was buzzing, the pedestrian street jammed with crowds and flashy little booths everywhere one looked.

One booth in particular grabbed my attention. It was a candy stall.

The old man running it had mad skills, able to create all kinds of candies in different shapes.

He was making a dragon right then, and I was so caught up watching him that I lost track of my class entirely.

When I finally came back to my senses, my teacher and classmates had vanished.

My mind went blank and I just froze up, standing there in the middle of the street, staring at the crowds swarming all around me.

After I calmed down, I headed back the way I'd come, going along with the crowd.

My mind was a total mess, thoughts swirling everywhere as I tried to figure out where to go next. Before I knew it, I bumped right into someone.

I yelped, clutching my forehead.

When I looked up, I was shocked to see it was Hazel Godwin.

She stared at me, her eyes wide with surprise. "Addie, why are you heading back alone?"

I choked out, "I... I got separated from my class. Hazel, how come you're here too?"

She was holding a bag in one hand and a pack of candy in the other.

She handed me a candy.

"Go on, try it! It's delicious. Aunt Shonda can't see us out here, so dig in and enjoy yourself," Hazel said.

Hazel took my hand and led me back to join the others.

As we walked, my mind kept spinning with all kinds of possibilities. Where could I even go? Could I go back to the orphanage? If I did, the director would definitely call Mom and Dad.

But other than the orphanage, I had nowhere else. If I tried living on the streets, I'd just end up starving and with nowhere to sleep.

So I decided to stay put for now, since I really had nowhere else to go.

The last stop of our trip was retracing an ancient path.

During the hike, I kept ending up alone at the back. Hazel kept a close eye on me, like she could read my mind. If I so much as slowed down, she'd appear right next to me.

I made sure to keep up with the group, sticking close so I wouldn't get left behind.

When we stopped for a break, butterflies were everywhere. For us city kids, it was such a rare sight.

No one was on their phones. Everyone was busy chasing after butterflies instead.

I joined in with the rest of the group, running around trying to catch them too.

I chased a blue butterfly, running after it without thinking. Before I realized it, I was completely lost and couldn't find my way back.

Panic hit me. The leaves rustled, and my nerves went on high alert as I looked around, wondering if some wild animal was lurking nearby.

The butterfly flew away.

I wandered through the woods aimlessly.

Animal noises around me kept getting louder, and I got more and more scared. My fists clenched tight, my body went rigid, and I kept spinning around, looking everywhere.

Suddenly, a bird burst out of the bushes, making my heart pound like crazy.

I crouched down, buried my face, and just cried. I was so scared.

I didn't dare think about running away ever again.

I dropped to my knees, pressed my palms together, and prayed to God, "Save me. I'll never dream of running away again."

I was so scared I almost wish I wouldn't survive this.

Suddenly, I heard leaves rustling. My heart jumped. I wondered if it was a bear, or maybe a tiger.

I snatched up a stick from the ground, brandishing it as I ran for my life, sweat breaking out on my forehead.

I kept looking over my shoulder, scared that there would be animals chasing me.

Suddenly, a massive snake slithered right past me from behind. I dropped my stick and took off running, screaming at the top of my lungs, "Help! Snake!"

I was running so fast I didn't even see the rock in front of me. I tripped and crashed to the ground, scraping my hands, knees, and face.

But I was so terrified, I barely even felt the wounds.

After running for a long time, I tripped again and everything went dark. I passed out cold.