Chapter 2
Camilla's "reign" was all-encompassing.
It wasn't until sixth grade, when she transferred schools, that I finally reclaimed my throne.
But my good days didn't last.
Camilla and I ran into each other again in middle school.
We ended up not just at the same school, but even in the same class.
I got into the honors class thanks to some connections.
Camilla, on the other hand, earned her place with her grades.
On registration day, her gaze swept calmly across the classroom, then landed squarely on me.
My smile froze.
She gave me the tiniest hint of a smile—just a subtle curve of her lips that only I could understand.
It was her silent way of declaring, "I've got you again."
My new buddy elbowed me. "Hey, Robert, check out that girl. She's gorgeous!"
I managed a smile that was uglier than crying.
Gorgeous? Seriously?
She was the devil incarnate.
She was pure evil, all the way through.
What really got under my skin was that she was still taller than me.
"What a coincidence, Robert," she said, setting her bag down, her voice low.
A chill ran down my spine as I forced a laugh. "Yeah, what a coincidence."
Turned out, it wasn't a coincidence at all.
My dad pulled some strings.
He went through her mom's network and even made a point to ask her to keep an eye on me.
So thanks to that "special attention," Camilla and I ended up not just as classmates, but desk mates too.
Honestly, I sometimes felt secretly pleased about it.
After all, sitting next to a gorgeous girl like Camilla was easy on the eyes, and everyone else wished they were me.
To everyone else, our daily banter looked just like playful flirting.
I tried my best to deny it.
No one bought it.
Rumors started flying that we were having some kind of puppy love behind everyone's backs.
I was so annoyed that I spent half the night in front of the mirror, trying to look as cool and distant as possible.
But the moment she said hi to me the next day, my whole act fell apart instantly.
No matter how much she got on my nerves, some things were just undeniable facts.
Like, her side profile was honestly stunning.
Sunlight streamed in through the window, highlighting the tiny fuzz on her cheeks, her lashes thick and long, lips pursed in focus as she worked through her assignments.
Sometimes, I'd just zone out watching her, my mind wandering off.
And then she'd snap me back to reality by tapping my forehead with her pen—not too hard, not too soft.
"Focus on the question. Why are you looking at me?" Camilla would say.
"I'm not looking at you," I replied defensively, my neck stiff and my ears turning red.
"Oh," she said, turning back around, but she couldn't hide that little smirk at the corner of her mouth.
I would admit it. She was my very first crush.
But back then, when I was all about playing it cool, I thought nobody could see through my little secret.
Still, girls always hit puberty a little earlier than boys.
One day, she gave my cheek a playful squeeze.
Then, with a wicked smirk, she teased, "Robert, with that pretty boy face, you'd make the perfect little submissive."
I was totally lost.
"What's that?" I blurted out without thinking.
Camilla actually looked a little thrown for a second and then smacked me on the head with her book. "Go Google it, idiot."
Of course, I went and Googled it.
And after that, I was completely wrecked.
After that, she started deliberately feeding me all sorts of forbidden thoughts.
She was also the one who hooked me up with the BL circles.
But I decided to switch things up and reinvent myself.
And through those BL circles, I discovered a whole new world.
I was totally floored.
Turned out things between guys and girls could get way more intense than I ever imagined.
That night, I ended up dreaming about Camilla again.
But this time, the dream went in a totally different direction.
Everything played out like an endless movie.
My teenage years had officially begun.
I secretly thought that she'd better not give me the chance.
Because if she did, I would show her what it meant to be a real man.
Who would've thought that a wild boast I made to myself back then would actually come true on my thirtieth birthday?
Of course, it was all just a drunken, reckless moment of passion.
After all, I'd heard Camilla was already married.
So after sleeping with Camilla, I was filled with regret and confusion. I snuck out before she woke up.
That way, she probably wouldn't even know we hooked up.
"I've got your meds ready," Camilla said.
"Remember to come in every two days to have your bandages changed. Avoid spicy food and heavy exercise," she added. "The stitches on your neck can come out in about two weeks."
"Got it, thanks, Dr. Hardin," I replied.
I grabbed my chart and prescription from the desk, just wanting to bolt out of there.
"Stop." Her voice was cool and crisp, echoing from behind me.
"Is there something else?" I asked, my body stiff at the doorway, not daring to look back.
"Why are you trying to run away?" she said.
Her footsteps came closer, slow and steady.
"I... I'm not running away, really. I just need to grab my meds," I said.
The smell of disinfectant washed over me again.
Camilla hesitated, then started, "Last night..."