Chapter 1

The day I got my acceptance letter from Seaside University, I went looking for Ethan Shaw like a madwoman.

He'd messed with my college application.

That was my dad's dying wish. The words "Northbridge Medical School" had been taped to my desk for three years.

Ethan wasn't blind. He couldn't have missed it.

A month later, he said it casually, "Jennifer's had asthma since she was a kid. Seaside University is close to her home."

I asked, "Why didn't you go to Seaside University yourself?"

Ethan replied, "My parents wouldn't let me."

So that was it. He had parents, and I was the orphan he could push around.

*****

I was signing the surgical consent form at the hospital.

The patient's name, Jennifer Keller, instantly took me back to ten years ago, when my college application was tampered with and I ended up at Seaside University against my will.

"Dr. Rivers, the patient's family is still waiting outside," the nurse, Ivy Jensen, said.

She hesitated, "Mr. Shaw said he insisted on seeing you."

I took off my mask. In the mirror, I saw bluish circles under my eyes.

I'd just finished an eight-hour surgery, and I had to prep for a complex lung transplant.

At the end of the hallway, a man stood by the bench.

His suit was perfectly pressed, but his temples had a grayish hue, like he'd been up for several nights in a row.

When Ethan turned around, our eyes met.

Those were the same eyes that once looked at me and said, "Natalie, you'd look beautiful in a white coat."

But now, they were filled with panic.

"Dr. Rivers." His Adam's apple bobbed, and his voice was raspy as sandpaper.

He pleaded, "Please, you have to save Jennifer."

I forced a smile and handed the consent form back to Ivy.

I said, "Has the surgery fee been paid in full?"

He froze, not expecting that question.

He nodded. "Yeah, it's been paid."

I said, "Then we'll proceed as usual."

I turned to leave, but he suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Natalie." His voice trembled. "I know I messed up. About what happened ten years ago, I..."

"Mr. Shaw." I pulled my hand back.

"This is work time. If you need help, go register at the front desk," I added.

As the operating room door closed behind me, I heard him fall to his knees.

The surgical lights flicked on.

I remembered the closing music from the Seaside University library.

Every time I heard Pachelbel's Canon, I'd pictured this day over and over again.

The day the SAT results dropped, the cicadas were screaming, and the heat felt like it was cooking the air.

I stared at the computer screen. I was in the top 1%.

Last year, the top 2% of students went to Northbridge Medical School. I was in.

"Done checking?" Ethan walked over with two Cokes, condensation dripping down the chilled bottles.

As he leaned in to check my screen, his minty breath brushed past my ear.

My face went red. Ethan was so close that I could barely breathe.

Ethan said, "My dad has some insider information.

"I told you yesterday you'd scored high, but you wouldn't believe me. You just had to see it for yourself."

He gave me a quick look, a smile playing at his lips. "So, do you believe me now?"

"Yeah," I nodded, a big smile on my face.

I took the Coke, and the cold from the bottle sent a pleasant tingle up my fingers.

The college application portal was still up on the screen.

My top choice was right there, clear as day: Northbridge Medical School.

"Remember the password?" He suddenly placed his hand over mine. "It's your birthday. Don't mess it up."

I said, "I know."

My heart was racing, my cheeks burning. I quickly pulled my hand away and turned to grab the printed sheet, avoiding his eyes.

When I came back, I noticed him frowning at the screen.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said.

He gave my hair a playful tousle and grinned. "I was trying to double-check for you, but I typed the wrong password."

I leaned closer to the keyboard and re-entered the password.

Suddenly, he hugged me from behind, his chin resting on top of my head.

He said, "Don't move. Let me see. Okay, we're in."

The cold Coke was sweating on the table. He popped the cap and brought it right up to my lips.

He smiled. "Take a sip. Let's celebrate. You're going to Northbridge Medical School."

My cheeks burned as I closed my eyes and took a sip of the Coke.

While the brown fizz burst on my tongue, I didn't see Ethan's fingers working quietly on the keyboard.

Only later did I realize what happened in those few seconds.

He erased "Northbridge Medical School" and typed "Nursing at Seaside University."

"The system will save it automatically. Don't worry," Ethan said.

He shut down the computer and took me to the movies, saying it was to celebrate the end of the SAT.

Halfway through the movie, Jennifer called, and Ethan had to leave.

When the application window closed, he gave me a notebook.

Tucked inside was a sticky note that read: [Natalie, you'll look beautiful in a white coat. Keep going. Don't give up.]

I tucked the note into my diary, my heart full of hope for the future.

The day I got my acceptance letter from Seaside University, I went looking for Ethan like a madwoman.

His parents said he'd gone on a graduation trip with Jennifer.

Then I locked myself in my room.

I pulled the curtains shut and went three days without food or water.

A month passed.

One night, my phone kept buzzing on the nightstand.

I picked up.

It was Ethan.

He said, "Natalie, I heard you came to my place looking for me."

By then, I'd finally cooled off.

"Why did you change my college application?" I asked.

Ethan admitted it, plain and simple.

He said it casually. "Jennifer's had asthma since she was a kid. Seaside University is close to her home."

"And then what?" I pressed.

Ethan said, "You're so smart. It doesn't matter where you go.

"Jennifer can't go anywhere else. She has to go to Seaside University. She's too sick for anything else."

He kept going on and on about Jennifer, as if she were the only thing that mattered.

Jennifer was in our high school class, but she was always absent and studied from home.

Ethan always said Jennifer was the daughter of someone who helped his family, and because she'd been sickly since she was little, he had to take care of her.

But I was his girlfriend.

But what did that make me?

Did he expect me to play nursemaid to Jennifer, his so-called "sister"?