Chapter 3
Caitlin texted: [Leila, are you out of the hospital yet? Can I come see you?]
I didn't reply.
Caitlin texted again: [Leila, I'm really sorry. I made your favorite cookies. Can I bring them over?]
I blocked her directly.
Roderick came out with oatmeal and frowned when he saw what I had done. "You blocked Caitlin?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Why?" he asked.
I met his gaze. "Do I need a reason?"
"Leila, you can't do this," Roderick said, sitting down next to me. "It was an accident. You can't keep blaming Caitlin for it."
"I'm not blaming her," I replied.
"Then why did you block her?" he pressed.
"Because I don't want to see her," I said.
Roderick took a deep breath. "She's already feeling terrible. She's been crying a lot lately."
"So?" I said.
"Leila!" Roderick sounded a little angry. "Can you act your age?"
Act my age?
I sneered. "Roderick, I lost an eye, and what you care about is her tears?"
"That's not what I meant," he said.
"Then what do you mean?" I shot back.
Roderick fell silent.
I barely ate any dinner, claiming I was tired, and went back to my room early.
Lying on the bed, I touched the gauze on my left eye.
The doctor said I needed regular dressing changes to prevent infection.
But what about the wound in my heart? How could I dress that?
*****
The next day, I started packing my things.
Roderick had gone to work, so I had the whole day.
Piece by piece, I stuffed my clothes, makeup, and books into boxes.
It turned out that two years of life could be packed into just a few boxes.
In the afternoon, I called a moving company.
By the time Roderick got home that evening, the living room was packed with boxes.
He froze in the doorway. "What are you doing?"
"Moving out," I said.
"Why?" Roderick asked.
I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. "Roderick, I'm breaking up with you."
He went pale. "What did you say?"
"I said, we're done," I repeated.
"Is this all because of Caitlin? Because of that accident?" Roderick looked at me in disbelief. "Leila, you can't do this!"
"I can," I said.
He said, "We've known each other for so many years—"
"Fifteen years." I cut him off. "We've known each other since we were five. Fifteen years."
Roderick walked over and tried to hold my hand, but I pulled away.
"Leila, I know you're upset right now, but you can't just make a decision like this on a whim," he said.
"This isn't a whim," I said calmly. "I've thought it through."
"Thought it through?" Roderick let out a bitter laugh. "You've only been out of the hospital for one day!"
"One day is all I needed," I said.
"One day is enough for you to walk away from fifteen years together?" he asked.
I looked at him, the man I once believed I had grow old with.
"Roderick, do you remember? In junior high, a boy bullied me, and you beat him black and blue," I said.
He froze. "Yeah, I remember. So what?"
"And in high school, when my parents were fighting, I crashed at your place for three days straight. Your mom made me a lot of delicious food," I went on.
"Leila," he started.
"Last winter, when I had a high fever, you carried me for three blocks just to find a clinic that was still open," I added.
Roderick's eyes reddened. "If you remember all that, then why are you breaking up with me?"
I took a deep breath. "Because all those good memories can't outweigh the choice you've made now."
"What choice?" Roderick asked.
"You chose to trust her, not me," I said.
Roderick fell silent.
That evening, the movers showed up.
I told them to load the boxes onto the truck.
Roderick stood there, frozen like a statue.
It wasn't until the last box was carried away that he spoke. "Where are you going?"
"It's none of your business," I replied.
"Leila!" he called out.