Chapter 4

At nine seventeen on Saturday morning, Stellan’s car entered Everlight’s parking lot.

I stood behind the one-way glass in the editing room, the pregnancy report folded inside my coat pocket.

From here I could see the entire Christmas set while the clients saw only a dark mirrored wall.

Stellan stepped out first. He wore the charcoal sweater I had given him last Christmas. Maris emerged in cream, and Arden climbed from the back seat wearing a small green bow tie.

Stellan crouched to straighten it. Arden rested both hands on his shoulders, perfectly trusting.

"Dad, fix my tie."

Arden lifted his chin while Stellan straightened his green bow tie.

I stood behind the one-way glass and watched my husband smile at his son.

There was no surprise in his movements.

He knew how tight Arden liked the knot. He knew the boy hated having his collar touched. When Arden tried to pull away, Stellan held his shoulder and finished the job with one hand.

He had done this before.

Many times.

That was all I needed to understand.

Stellan had driven Maris and Arden to the studio in his own car.

The same car he used when he left our house for his "client meeting."

When the photographer called them onto the set, the three of them moved into position without instructions.

Maris took the place on the left and rested her head on Stellan’s shoulder.

The same positions appeared in every old photograph.

Stellan did not move away.

The photographer adjusted the lights.

"Closer together, please."

Maris wrapped her arm around Stellan’s waist.

Arden looked up at them.

"Next year, we won’t have to hide the picture, right?"

Stellan’s smile disappeared for a moment.

"Let’s finish today first."

My hand moved to my stomach.

Six weeks ago, a child had begun growing inside me.

For years, I had believed Stellan and I were two people learning to accept a life without children.

But I had been alone in that pain.

He already had birthdays, Christmas mornings, school events, and bedtime stories.

He had never given up being a father.

He had only made sure I never saw him become one.

Sarah began the family interview.

"What do you want your family to look like five years from now?"

Stellan rubbed his thumb along the edge of his wedding band. "We’ll talk after today."

Arden frowned. "But you said next year we don’t have to hide the pictures."

Stellan’s shoulders tightened. Maris placed a hand over the black velvet box in her lap.

Inside was a gold ring with a dark green stone.

The Hale family ring.

Stellan had once told me it was the last gift his mother gave him.

Three years ago, he claimed he lost it during a business trip.

I had helped him search our home.

I had held him while he pretended to grieve.

Now the ring lay in Maris’s hand.

I stopped waiting for an explanation.

There was nothing left to investigate.

I did not need to hear another promise or watch another pose.

I turned away from the glass.

"Finish the session. Send me the final family portrait."

Then I left.

Behind me, Stellan took the ring box from Arden.

He went down on one knee while Maris covered her mouth.

The photographer captured the ring, the proposal, and the seventh Hale family portrait.

By then, I was already on my way home.

I packed my passport, my mother’s earrings, medication, and the navy sweater I had owned before marriage.

Everything Stellan had given me stayed behind.

Sarah sent the final photograph before I finished packing.

Stellan stood beside Maris and Arden.

The family ring was on Maris’s finger.

I printed the photograph and placed it on the dining table.

The divorce agreement went beneath it.

My wedding ring went on the signature page.

Last, I placed my pregnancy report beside the seventh Hale family portrait.

I turned the report over and wrote:

This year, you can finally make them public because your wife is gone.

I looked around the home I had spent six years building with him.

Then I placed one hand over my child, picked up my suitcase, and left.